Deoxys and Abra: Breaking Paris
by Shadowelecman
Summary: After their first misadventure in Pokepals pool, Deoxys and Abra are back to break Paris! Apologies to the French people.


Since the first one got 50 views and I just got back from Paris... I present... Deoxys and Abra: Breaking Paris! Enjoy!

Deoxys was really, _really_ pissed off.

First, the customs guy said that because he was from space, he technically could not have a country of origin, and thus he could not have a passport, and this passport Deoxys showed was obviously the passport swiped from the man just ahead of him in line.

Second, the luggage guys didn't buy the fact that Abra was a seeing eye Pokemon, since he never opens his eyes, so they wouldn't let him on the plane.

Third, the dead smile of the customs guy creeped Deoxys out, and he was getting stressed, so he went Attack mode and smacked him in the face, making fifty security guys come after him.

Then to top it all off, Abra teleported the duo to Paris, which Deoxys did not want done because he had never been on a plane, and he had already bought tickets with money earned at children's birthday parties.

In Deoxys' mind, these were good things to be pissed off about, but he was really tired, and having four (really three) bad things happen to him when he was really tired made the second pissed have italics, because it was just that bad.

"Zzz... Look, lighten up, I saved your ass, right?... Zzz..." Abra mind-speak-thingied nonchalantly to Deoxys.

"I need to go to bed. What time is it?" Deoxys grumbled. He could have handled the security guys, but that would've caused an international incident. Besides, he wasn't feeling like being happy anyway.

"Zzz... Six in the morning... Zzz..." Abra mumbled.

"WHAT! It was midnight back home in Colorado (w00t, Home State :D) man!" Deoxys yelled.

"Zzz... Yeah. In Colorado. This is Paris. Duh... Zzz..." Abra said, sheepishly. "Zzz... Look, I can teleport us on the plane, if you want... Zzz..."

"YES! PLEASE! Those little kids at those birthday parties were vicious man, and I am NOT letting that hard earned money go to waste!" Deoxys yelled at Abra.

"Zzz... Alrighty... Zzz..." Abra shrugged. "Zzz... I think we're in the sewers anyway... Zzz..."

"AW GREAT!"

Five minutes later Deoxys and Abra were finally on the Swallow Airlines flight to Paris. Deoxys was very happy at this fact. Sure, he was wasting nine hours, but he got in a nice nap. A nap is a good stress reliever.

"Attention please. This is your captain, Tenguman. Wait, what? I thought this was a Pokemon fic! What's wrong with this series! Needleman's Bad Day was better than either of these stories! GRAR!" a very confused Tenguman spoke over the intercom before destroying the plane.

"WHY? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?" Deoxys yelled to me, since I am the writer and as such am technically the God of this universe. But believe me, that's the only way I _can_ be God... oh, wait, you're not my therapist, sorry.

"Because I said so and each story in this series has to have one random cameo! Now shut up, a deux ex machina is on its way," I told Deoxys.

"What the...?" Deoxys wondered before a plane labeled _Deux ex Machina_ pulled up to take every survivor (all but one unfortunate stuffed rabbit, who was later resurrected with a quick stitch job and some new stuffing) to Paris.

"Have I discovered religion?" Deoxys asked Abra onboard the plane, which was comfier than the first one.

"Zzz... Yeah, probably. Now be quiet, Sherlock Holmes is on the flight entertainment thingy... Zzz..." Abra told Deoxys.

"Weird," Deoxys mumbled, before drifting off to sleep.

Nine hours and one quick teleport later, Deoxys and Abra were sitting in a very nice hotel enjoying the room service and the twin bathrooms, as they were both foolish enough to try to stomach two airline meals on the same flight.

"Well, that went... well..." Deoxys said after his third trip to the bathroom, trying to process the beef manicotti.

"Zzz... Yeah, considering we got on the plane, wasted nine hours on a nice nap and some good movies, and only one guy got socked in the face. Wait a minute, why did we want to go to Paris anyway?... Zzz..." Abra responded, devouring some baguettes.

"Hmm... good question..." Deoxys replied, thinking that the readers deserved to know why they were in Paris. Other than the author's been there.

Two weeks after they got kicked out of Pokepals pool, Deoxys had gotten bored and had randomly started looking up flights to Europe, because Ride of the Valkyries was playing really loud from their next door neighbor, a Electabuzz hobo named Thor, and had discovered that technically, the two could go to Norway for fifty bucks.

After some time on the phone, Deoxys realized that this would mean the duo would be sitting in Pokeballs under the plane for nine hours, and decided that Swallow Airlines' seating accommodations for Pokemon would be better, and would only cost them another twenty four bucks. So, after some epic ass-whooping at children's birthday parties, (Roman gladiator style Pokemon fights. 'Nuff said.) the duo were finally ready to go to Norway. Deoxys then said, 'Screw that, the Nordic Gods and fjords are boring anyway,' and the duo decided to go to Paris instead.

"Zzz... Oh, yeah. And this is not a fanfic, calm down... Zzz..." Abra mind read from Deoxys.

"Shut up Abra." Deoxys said.

"Zzz... So, its seven at night here, so do you want to sleep, or... Zzz..." Abra asked Deoxys before rushing to the bathroom for the fourth time because of the green stuff that was supposedly chicken fettuccini, but smelled more like cooked vomit.

"Sleep it is!" Deoxys said happily, heading off to bed.

"The next day... aw, crap, my God powers are still on, hold off..." Some Mareep in Norway heard out of nowhere.

"You've been reading too much Douglas Adams, 'ey God man?" One of the Mareep asked the loud voice.

"Shut up," the God man responded, knowing it was true.

The next day, Deoxys and Abra woke up at eight, ate breakfast, flirted with a Gardevoir, got slapped by said Gardevoir for asking what the red triangle on her chest was for too soon in the relationship, caught a bus, and headed to the Eiffel Tower.

"Wow! Can you believe the French made this just to show off?" an amazed forty something nerd asked No-one, his Cleffa, in amazement.

"You kidding? I make thirty foot piles of dust just for the hell of it most Saturday afternoons. The first time was hard, but after that, I just had to put the damn thing back together," Deoxys said to the nerd casually.

"Shut up, asshole," No-one said in a surprisingly deep voice.

"Zzz... Fine, jerk... Zzz..." Abra answered the scary Cleffa.

After buying some tickets and a nifty light up Eiffel Tower paperweight thingy, Deoxys and Abra waited in the surprising small line to go up to the Eiffel Tower.

"I wonder why there are so few people?" Deoxys asked Abra.

"Zzz... Everyone's on a manhunt for some guy who snuck in illegally using an Abra after punching a customs guy in the face back in the U.S... Zzz..." Abra replied.

"Huh. That's weird." Deoxys replied, completely casual and not picking up that he was the guy everyone was after. Luckily, no one was looking for a Deoxys, as Deo was wearing a large trenchcoat and fedora at the time, and the manhunt was commencing for that guy.

After the two got up to the Eiffel Tower's top, they realized all monuments were the same. Really tall, history around the walls, big city view... just saying.

"Huh. This is kind of boring. Better spice it up..." Deoxys grinned, evilly.

Five minutes later, the Eiffel Tower was a smoking heap, and Deo and Abra were being chased by an angry mob of pitchfork and baguette wielding French people.

"Zzz... Great! Now we're going to get lynched by the French!... Zzz..." Abra yelled at Deoxys.

"Look, how did I know that those fireworks would be so powerful, huh? Besides, this isn't the worst situation we've been in," Deoxys yelled at Abra.

"Zzz... What was worse!... Zzz..." Abra asked Deoxys.

"That time we chugged fifteen gallons of that steak sauce/ soy sauce mixture your cousin Kadabra made," Deoxys explained.

"Zzz... Touché... Zzz..." Abra responded, impressed.

After ten more minutes of running, the mob finally got tired, and Deoxys and Abra escaped. "Zzz... Where to now, Deo?... Zzz..." Abra asked, cautiously.

"To a Parisian cafe!" Deoxys yelled triumphantly.

"Zzz... Well, how much damage could we do there?... Zzz..." Abra decided nervously.

After enjoying some very good coconut sorbet and peach ice tea (all the rage in Paris, and it's very good), Deoxys and Abra actually left the cafe without destroying it, and decided to head to Notre Dame.

"Look, my reasoning is that Notre Dame is a church, and nothing bad happens in churches, right?" Deoxys explained to Abra on the bus ride over.

"Zzz... Well, at least the lines won't be bad... Zzz..." Abra decided.

After a nice, non destructive visit to Notre Dame and some generous prayers for forgiveness from Deoxys, the duo headed to Napoleon's tomb.

"Zzz... Try not to destroy this place Deo... Zzz..." Abra reminded Deoxys.

"Aw, I was good at Notre Dame, right?" Deoxys grumbled.

"Zzz... Yeah, but we have to respect the dead, especially when they are cultural icons... Zzz..." Abra told Deoxys.

"Fine..." Deoxys muttered.

After presenting their tickets to the scary guy at the front desk, Deoxys and Abra stared at Napoleon's tomb.

"Hey! This guy is in, like, six coffins! If I hit it once, he'd probably be fine!" Deoxys grinned.

"Zzz... Deo, no, bad idea... Zzz..." Abra tried to reprimand, but Deoxys was already Defense mode cannonballing onto the coffin.

"Aw, crap, another angry mob..." Deoxys said casually, looking at the splinters of all the coffins and Mr. Napoleon.

"Hey! I'm alive!" Napoleon's skull shouted, before some guys from the French army accidently shot it.

"Now the military's after us? What a great vacation!" Deoxys said gleefully, while running like hell from the beret wearing, gun toting troops.

"Zzz... I _hate_ you right now Deo!... Zzz..." Abra said urgently, trying to run from the troops and cover Deoxys' skipping gleeful ass at the same time. "Zzz... You really hit your head hard when you hit those coffins, huh?... Zzz..."

"Derp! Hey... I'm sleepy..." Deoxys said, exactly like a drunk, and passed out.

When Deoxys woke up, he was in a cell in prison, with Abra right next to him.

"Ow... What happened?" Deoxys said groggily.

"Zzz... You passed out, so I decided to end the rampage and surrender. In return, they didn't shoot us... Zzz..." Abra explained, angrily.

"Aw, well... What a great vacation, minus the imprisonment..." Deoxys mumbled.

"Zzz... Yeah? Well, my teleportation abilities have been shut off by this reinforced plastic cell, so we're gonna be here for life... Zzz..." Abra said, grumpily.

"OH MY GOD, REINFORCED PLASTIC! We really _DID_ piss off the French people, huh?" Deoxys said in astonishment.

"Zzz... Yeah, reinforced plastic. So, what do we do for the rest of our lives?... Zzz..." Abra asked Deoxys, testily.

"Don't worry, I have an idea..." Deoxys said unhappily. "Let's just hope that the prison guards have little kids like the ones in the U.S..."

Six months later, Deoxys and Abra had repaired the Eiffel Tower, Napoleon's Tomb, Napoleon himself, gave Notre Dame some paint and buffered all of its windows, broke, fixed, almost broke, stopped themselves, and then upgraded the Arc de Triomphe, and polished every sculpture and piece of glass covering the paintings in the Louvre. They also earned 6,587 Euros and 35 cents in children's birthday party expenses, and for good behavior and fixing all of the major French monuments, and entertaining a lot of children, Deoxys and Abra were allowed to go home.

"What a relief! We're finally home from prison! And neither of us got..." Deoxys started.

"Zzz... DON'T SAY IT!... Zzz..." Abra intervened.

"Yeah, okay, well, we're home. What's our next international trip?" Deoxys asked Abra.

"Zzz... Oh, you want to know, eh?... Zzz..." Abra said angrily, pulling out a large mallet.

"Ah, crap..." Deoxys said, before Abra beat the crap out of him with the hammer.

Ta dah! And thus Deoxys and Abra's second (much more destructive) adventure has ended. I'd like to take this time to thank the people that read the first one, and to apologize to the French. I really, _really_ liked Paris, and no one had a wiry mustache, a beret (minus the soldiers), or a bad attitude. So, thanks for all the fish, and don't be like Deoxys! And yes, I have been reading a lot of Douglas Adams, sue me.


End file.
